xbYdx arbitrary symmetry

I've heard that there are three colors for which no single-word rhyme exists. The feat has surely been attempted by brighter minds, but here's my attempt at mitigating the situation over multiple words:

There was a tree whose leaves were silver
Sadly, it was just an ill fir

And, in twilight's fading purple
Cut the trunk down to a fir pole

Interestingly, it looks like there actually is a category of tree called Silver Fir, even when it's perfectly healthy. In that case, you can interpret "ill" to mean "dope". On an unrelated note:

you'll find nothing to rhyme with month
for i have tried it more than oneth



wtymictdbigmrttbgp - hop

1. I value you as a friend; I'm not just trying to get bananas from you.

This is pure deception. It might hurt to admit it, but monkeys don't care about a personal relationship with you. They just want bananas.

2. I'll get along fine with your other pets.

Unless your other pets are harpy eagles, don't consider it for a second.

3. I think we really understand each other.

No, they don't. Monkeys have an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex and can't follow along with even your simplest cognitive reasoning. They'll say anything to get bananas.

4. I'm just a monkey from the jungle. I don't care about money.

This is a line that every one of those tree-swinging leeches with try to feed you. Cash = bananas.

5. Look how often I groom myself. I'm a clean animal.

If you saw a human picking at their hair for extended sessions, would you assume they were clean, or that they were hosting a colony of lice?

6. We monkeys don't associate with other primates.

A filthy lie. Leave a monkey in your house for a couple hours unattended, and you'll come home to find your lawn full of baboons, orangutans raiding the kitchen, gibbons passed out on the couches, and a gorilla in your bathtub. And who knows where that stupid monkey is.

7. I'm surprisingly strong and agile. Give me some bananas and I won't hurt you.

Those Hollywood nature shows make monkeys out to be some evolutionary fighting champion of the jungle, but they still haven't adapted to sustain a punch in the face.

I immensely enjoy absurd humor and I think part of this category borders on absurdism. It's really funny to define things in non-obvious, overly obvious, or irrelevant ways, or with strange similes. Like calling a shirt torso pants. Or labeling a soda arsenic-free. My favorite adjective is "submersible", since anything tangible can technically be submerged, given enough liquid. You could sell a fully submersible TV, so long as operating underwater was not stated as a feature. I'm just gonna go ahead and stream-of-consciousness some strange descriptions for normal objects; many have probably already been coined:

Digging spoon
Sky dandruff
Talking mime
Manual spatula
Hair rake
Standalone watch
Four-legged dog
Low-heat water cubes
Body sprinkler
Non-combustible jewelry
Raw raisins
Hand gloves
Wooden tree
Unscrambled eggs

You have my deepest apologies.

tgiswaebasaalbina - REM

You know that t-shirt/bumper sticker that says "I put the laughter in slaughter"? Imagery aside, I thought the wordplay was pretty clever. With the aid of some wildcard dictionary searches, I came up with a few of my own. The "rule" is that the contained word must be at least four letters long and differ in pronunciation from the original word. Also, I included some fake product names for contextual humor.

LipWaxer - "We put the ache in mustache."

Misanthropes - "We put the hate in whatever."

That last one is a personal favorite. I'll try to come up with more uplifting examples, but there are so many more negative words. A list that begins with "idiot, moron, jerk" could go on for quite a ways, but what non-adjective words are there to complement someone? Do-gooder? Exemplar? Instead, we have to use metaphors like "sugar", "honey", or "Chuck Norris".

ihniwiata - r

This how to enables quick search in Firefox using keywords in the address bar.

Right click on on any search field, for example Google's or Wikipedia's, and select "Add a Keyword for this Search...". A dialog will pop up to create a bookmark. Name it anything you like; the name is what it will be called in your bookmarks. Give it a keyword. Keep it short to speed up search. For Google I used a plain 'g'. Click "OK" and you're ready to search faster. In your address bar type "g a search query," and Google's search page for "a search query" will automagically come up. To access the address bar without having to use the mouse press either "CTRL + l" (that's a lower case L for location) or "F6." You can also press "CTRL + t" to open a new tab with the address bar focused. Opening a new tab prevents you from leaving whatever important page you are on.

Over the Christmas break we had opportunity to visit friends and family in Philadelphia. One outing to us to Peddler's Village, a quaint shopping area in Bucks County. Our fare was obtained at Waterlillies restaurant, an establishment which strives to appeal to the octogenarian demographic.

This is their club sandwich, presented on old-lady style plateware. Incidentally, this is probably the best sandwich picture I've yet taken. It's a good-looking dish.

Before delving into the specifics, I should mention that I default to toasted white bread with a little mayo when presented with options. Take a careful look at the photo and see if you can discern what's missing. That's right, there's no cheese. Even so, the juicy veggies, ample stack of turkey, and legitimate portion of bacon made up for the trespass. The proportions were pretty much perfect, and the bread was well toasted. Adequately filling, but could've used fries, especially given the price. But price and sides cannot logically factor into the rating, so we'll give it a 9.

I just watched The Bourne Ultimatum, a fantastic movie. My wife and I have watched the Bourne trilogy over the past month, and it's reminded me of how great the books are. Just a couple weeks ago, I was in an airport bookstore, and I saw the novel pictured above. With The Bourne Supremacy still fresh on my mind, I took the bait and purchased The Ambler Warning. The first couple pages presented a very interesting story, but the author's credentials were what made the sale for me. You can't miss with Robert Ludlum.

About 14 pages into the book, a nagging thought pushed its way past my subconscious. I tried to just focus on the story, but the realization was undeniable: This book isn't very well written. And not just relative to Ludlum's other work; it's flat-out mediocre writing. With sneaking suspicion, I examined the cover again. Sure enough, in the upper right corner of "Robert Ludlum" was the dreaded "TM". Trademarked. Meaning, they turned his name into a brand.

Had I not already been privy to Tom Clancy's similar secret, I probably would have overlooked the diminutive sign. The publisher clearly tried hard to pass this off as a genuine Ludlum piece.

From the page headers...

...to the strategic quotes...

...everything looks legit. Only a tiny disclaimer on the copyright page mentions, in a single sentence, that the estate of Robert Ludlum has worked with special people to get the book done. People who are so confident in their work that they wish to remain anonymous. As suggested by the disclaimer and the Wikipedia entry (spoilers), Ludlum purportedly had a manuscript for the book, but I'd guess that it was probably a rough outline, or maybe a few notes. There was hardly a sentence in the first few chapters that couldn't have been written by a middle-schooler with a fondness for the thesaurus. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but the flow and pacing need to get a lot better if they want the charade to last.

In their defense, I probably should have known that Mr. Ludlum passed away half a decade ago. In their offense, it's a shady way to make some cash. They might even be burning bridges by deterring readers from repeat Ludlum purchases. Fittingly, the book opens with this quote:
"The unapparent connection is more powerful than the apparent one."
If only the unapparent author were a better wordsmith.

ptmyhygmn - rs

If you would like to customize the look of your Linux desktop there are various themes at gnome-look (for GNOME) and kde-look (for KDE). These sites contain custom, user-rated themes for the complete look of your desktop environment.

McAlister's Deli is a great restaurant with locations all over the country, if their web site is to be believed. I played the patron at one in north Austin, which has a very lunch-type ambiance. Between the classic look of the place and the fun I had pronouncing the name with a Scottish brogue, my expectations for the club were high.

Just from the menu snippet, you can see that McAlister's was designed with sandwiches in mind. They have several bread selections, a bunch of complementary sides, and even multiple club sandwiches to choose from. I went with the standard "CLUB".

At first glance, everything is accounted for: double-decking, frilly toothpick, stack of meat, etc. Unfortunately, the club is more photogenic than it is, um, awesomegenic. The bread was good, and even if it weren't, the onus is on the customer to choose his/her preferred style of grained slab. The tomato and lettuce were decent enough, and the mayo was right on. It's the meat that's the trouble. That big wad of turkey and ham doesn't extend out laterally. By the time you hit the crust, there's no protein in sight. If you're going to use the classic triangle cut on toast-sized bread, you need to cover every inch of that foundation with meat. Also, the bacon. I was disappointed to see that McAlister's, an ostensible sandwichery, scrimped on the bacon. If a pub with afterthought entrees can afford to bring the bacon, I'm sure a national chain can spare the extra expense.

I got full, but it took that cup of potato salad and a desert to do it. If you read that last sentence in the voice of the Simpson's comic book guy, it sounds ridiculous, but I probably eat about as much as the average American 20-something guy. Anyhow, the taste was pretty good for the eight bites with meat. Not phenomenal, though, and certainly not up to the standard set by racks of bread behind the counter and the old-fashioned decor.

Overall rating (2-King):

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